Naming a Guardian for Your Minor Child(ren)

The world is scary right now. There is a lot of uncertainty about the future, our freedom and our safety. As a parent, you think about this uncertainty and what will happen to your children if something happens to you. That fear is ever present from the day you take your baby home until you they are adults and can take care of themselves. For parents of special needs children, that fear never goes away.

It's hard thinking about someone else raising your children. Maybe the thought takes your breath away. Maybe you push the thought out of your mind because it's just too horrific to consider. But if you have children under the age of eighteen, you must consider it.

If you cannot raise your minor child because of incapacity or if you die before your children turn eighteen, a guardian will be appointed by the court to take legal and physical custody of your child. You have the right to name a guardian who you want to step in and take care of your children every day until they become adults.

If no guardian is named in your power of attorney will, a family court judge - a stranger who does not know you, your child, or your relatives and friends - will decide who will raise your child. Anyone can ask to be considered, and the judge will select the person he or she deems in the best interest of the child. Your children's guardian could be your ex-spouse or partner who has been absent or abusive, a relative you despise, or even a stranger you've never met. Families tend to fight over children, especially if there's money involved. If no one is willing to take your child; the judge will place your child in foster care.

On the other hand, if you name a guardian, the judge will likely support your choice. Having an estate plan is how you protect your children and have a voice in their future.

How to Choose a Guardian

You cannot be replaced. No one parents like you. But you may have thought of someone that could go a decent job providing for your children's general welfare, education, and medical needs if you are no longer available to do so. Your children's guardian can be a relative or friend.

Here are a few factors my clients have considered when selecting guardians (and backup guardians).

The closeness of the relationship between the children and the potential guardian

The parenting style, moral values, educational level, health practices, religious/spiritual beliefs of the potential guardian

The location of the guardian. Will children have to move from a familiar school, friends, and neighborhood? Will the guardian move into your home?

The age and health of the potential guardians.

While grandparents may have the time, they may or may not have the energy to keep up with a toddler or teenager.

An older guardian may become ill and/or even die before a child is grown, so a child would have lost two people close to him or her.

A younger guardian, especially a sibling, may be concentrating on finishing college, starting a career or struggling with an addiction.

The guardian's emotional preparedness:

Someone who is single or who doesn't want children may resent having to care for your children.

Someone with a houseful of their own children may or may not want more around.

WARNING: Serving as guardian and raising your children is a big deal; don't spring such a responsibility on anyone. Ask your top candidates if they would be willing to serve, and name at least one alternate in case the first choice becomes unable to serve.

The chances of needing the guardian to actually step in and raise your children are usually slim. But it's that “what if” that keeps you up at night. It's the occurrence of the “what if” that could have a profound and lasting impact on your children's wellbeing. Deciding who will raise your children is not easy, but don't let that stop you from nominating a guardian and a back up guardian. You can change your mind and select a different guardian anytime you'd like.

I am here to listen to your fears and help you establish a plan that will not only succeed but give you a peace of mind. To schedule an appointment with to ensure your children are protected, you can my office, reach out to me at kc@manguslawfirm.com, click the link to schedule a consultation with me or go to my website manguslawfirm.com and schedule your consultation with me.